Whenever some misogynist-trolling-of-intelligent-woman scandal has exploded in the (anti‑)feminist webosphere over the last decade or so (ie since I started tapping into it), I’ve seen countless variations of this idea, mainly from intelligent men sympathetic to the concept that women are equal to men:
“All these sexists on the internet need to ask themselves how they would feel if someone said this to their wife/mother/daughter.”
And finally, I’ve figured out how to say:
No, actually, they don’t. They need to ask themselves how they would feel if someone said it to them. Or their alpha-male friend. That is, someone they don’t think of as needing their protection.
All the type of sentiment above is doing is asking men who lash out at women for talking all feministy to change their default response from nasty to protective.
It’s patronising. And is still oppression.
In a nutshell, all these sexists/men-who-think-they’re-not on the internet need to ask themselves why they’re still having trouble thinking of women as equal grown-up people.
If, as a man, you feel like you need to grab the mike and save the day, just hang back for a sec. Sometimes women can actually speak for themselves. The real feminist men are the ones waiting in the background, making sure the women’s microphones are up loud enough and applauding when they’re done.